Originally published August 2009
The greatest thing I ever did in my life, and I’ve done some great things for a small town girl, is to give birth and raise two children. The hardest thing I’ve ever done or will ever survive is being the mother to children. The latter is because I never expected to feel the depths of emotions, from joy to despair, as I watch my daughters navigate life. This is the topic of another blog, however. Today I’m going to share how cool it is to have human beings on the planet that resemble me in looks and personality.
I got the idea for this post when a friend was over and looking at photographs of me when I was a toddler. She was amazed at how much my seven-year-old grandson looks like me.
Her comment made me recall how often I was told how much my daughters, Erin and Adrian, look like me. For a time I assumed it was just people being nice but when I heard it over and over I began to really believe it.
For me, it was more than just flattery. I never knew my own mother, had no one to compare myself to, although I was told time and time again how much I looked like her. So to have my girls look like me gave me some comfort in the knowledge that I carried a little of my long-dead Mom with me. I hoped that my daughters would feel the same way.
My youngest, Adrian is a real jokester. As a teenager whenever someone told her she looked like me she would respond with, “I was adopted and my ‘Mom’ made me get plastic surgery to look like her.” Ha ha, funny kid.
I have spent many years of my life researching my family history, documenting the lives of ancestors to get a sense of who they were, where they came from and how they conducted their lives. Doing so has given me a sense of the continuity and belonging that long eluded me. Having the tangible evidence of a paper trail such as documents and photographs is wonderful. Another method of feeling a connection, I have finally discovered, is by looking in the mirror.
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